Thailandisms

By Shelly

You know you're in Thailand when...

You go for a run and can't go 2 blocks before you have 4 dogs chasing you (true story). 

You feel like you are killing the earth every time you eat food with the multiple plastic bags and styrofoam used. 

You cut your nails all the way down on Monday and by Thursday, they are back to the same length.  Same goes for how fast your hair grows too. 

You can't tell if a young Thai woman is actually a woman.

You freak out when you realize you don't have any toilet paper or tissue in your purse and you are already going to the bathroom (yes, a rare find in bathrooms here).  Soap is also hard to come by.

You see a bunch of white people and get irritated because you didn't know you were in a tourist spot.

You go out to eat in said tourist spot and the prices are 5-6 times higher than the food you can get anywhere else and is usually not even half as good.

You can find a 7-11 within 50 feet of where you're standing.

You get your feet soaking wet on a dry day when walking on the sidewalk.  Sidewalk tiles are usually loose and tend to retain rainwater.  Think Indiana Jones for this one.

You have perfected the art of carrying an umbrella while riding a bike.

You are openly laughed at any time you speak.

You see entire families riding on one motorcycle. 

You go to the beach and Thai people are fully clothed.

You feel ripped off anytime you have to spend more than $1.50 US for an entire meal.

You try to deposit a check at your bank, but are told that can only be done at the branch you opened the account.  Or, you try to cash a money order and the banks don't know what it is. 

You are riding your bicycle down the street and out of nowhere on loudspeakers you have no idea the whereabouts of starts playing some lovely sounding Thai music and you wonder who is behind this music in the sky. 

You step out of your house and within 2 minutes have already had 3 kids say Hello and tell you how beautiful you look today. 

You get used to eating with a spoon.  A fork is used only to help push the food onto the spoon.  This actually is a much more efficient way of eating believe it or not!

You see a vendor on the street selling very preserved meat on a stick and Thai people eating it like it's candy.  (ICK!)

It takes you 5 hours and 3 buses to go somewhere that would take you an hour and forty-five minutes to drive yourself. 

Thais walking next to you are practically walking backwards they walk so slow.  We walked slow one time and found we didn't sweat nearly as much.  Noted.

You get the same exact allergy medication as you would in the states for $20 cheaper. (seriously?!!)